Thursday, July 31, 2014 3:19am CST

Get A Life. Its Just A Cell Phone!

October 30 2011 by Kerry Kobashi

Cell Phone
Good Grief. I'm getting really tired of hearing people bitching and complaining about how superior their cell phone is over the other leading candidate. I mean get a freaking life will you? Its just a stupid cell phone. I dare you to go without it for a day.

You know, when cell phones didn't exist, life was good and people actually made conversation face to face. Over the past decade everyone and his grandma has gotten too attached. It seems that as more features get added, the more stupid we get. There are phones with touch gesturing, cell phones that allow you to play music, cell phones that let you surf the web. Even cell phones that run apps that make farting sounds.

If you use this device long enough, you can't but not gain new learned behavior that becomes bad habit. Is it really that necessary to be that connected?

If people would spend less time Twittering and Twattering, maybe this country would accomplish something of importance than letting the Chinese takeover the world. Rather than the "I'm in the parking lot and am waiting for a squirrel to get hit" kind of message can't we use our brains for something better? I mean this is so Beavis and Butthead-ish. With so much information being fed into our heads, we are out of habit becoming reactive to the information flow. Its like Pavlov's dog. Your cell phone rings and you start salivating all over it - and there's a plastic cover for that too!

Over the years I've seen people change their behavior. A lot of it from cell phone overuse and its downright scary. It's become an electronic baby blanket that cell phone addicts can't get away from. Some of the people I know get so involved, so intensely focused on their stupid electronic device, that they forget that I'm sitting there next to them. Its like they are lost in their own electronic silly world and losing touch with the real physical existence of life. Ever see people fumble over their speech making the same baby giggly sounds that they use in their own texting dialogue? (lol, wtf, fwiw, <3 u). You can see them pause, make a silly face, and perform a mental adjustment right before they speak!

The other day I walked into a big family style Italian restaurant. Lots of families were sitting down with their children, grandparents, and relatives on big dining room tables. Watching this scene, I could not but help but notice these individuals weren't talking to one another. They were sitting their staring at their cell phones tapping the keys - young kids especially. It looked so dysfunctional, so odd, so wrong. What's become of the family unit when you can't even have a decent family conversation?

The absolutely un-awesome thing is, that people just don't realize they are so locked into it.

By all means, never point it out to them. Its a horrible waste of time and energy. You are just going to run into denial and illogical defense of their actions. They don't realize they are being extremely rude and would die a thousand deaths if they can't get in a short message on their Facebook page.

And how addictive have cell phones become? Remember the old T-Mobile commercial where a teenage cheerleader is sitting in the middle of an arena surrounded by researchers listening in on the conversation in utter pain? The girl goes on and on talking about stupid stuff in attempt to see if 1500 minutes of talk time is enough (it isn't). That is how stupid this has all become.

When I go into the supermarket I often see a spouse with a cellphone up to his ear staring into the freezer section. The conversation is stupid loud as if they were the only two speaking on the planet. It usually goes something like this:

"Hey honey, I'm at the grocery store"
"Oh, I had an ok day and you"
"Blah blah blah I'll be home in 5 minutes"
"Blah Blah blah should I get green beans or carrots for dinner tonight"
"But there's too much salt in it"
"No, I'm telling you there's too much salt in it"
"Really? Tissy the cat pooped on the rug?"
"No I wore my boots to work today. I said I wore my boots to work today! Hey I'm reaching for the fish sticks"
"What's that? Forget about grocery shopping? Where you want to go out to eat?

It gets so bad you just want to reach for a gun to end the misery.

These conversations are taking on a new level of stupidity. They are so shallow, insane and trivial. They aren't the type of conversations we had when there were no cell phones in the world. It's like people's brains instantly turn into mush when a cell phone is placed into their ear.
grocery aisle
Here in California we have a law that prevents drivers from using their cell phone while in transit. A day doesn't go buy when I see someone driving 10mph in 30mph traffic with a phone up to their head. It's like zombie land out here with cell phone users just asking to be hit by a semi truck. Simply, they are too involved and too focused on the conversation, Then, you see in horror how the idiot just passed through a red light and narrowly missed an elderly woman walking in the crosswalk. Insane.

Let's not forget about the posers too. Especially the types that speak so loud you cannot but overhear them. This happens a lot when an attractive member of the opposite sex is near them. The conversation usually goes that they work for the CIA and need to get their Lambourghini serviced. Then the cell phone light powers off midstream in the "conversation" revealing they weren't talking to anyone in the first place!

Yesterday I was in a Barnes and Noble bookstore. The place is usually quite and you don't hear anything but the check out clerk talking to patrons. But today I'm sitting at the far back of the store and I hear a woman yelling into her cell phone. She was talking so loud it was overbearing. I wanted to go over there to smack her on the head with a few magazines. It was so obnoxious and she treated the situation like she was in her house all alone without a care in the world. It was embarrassing as well as she talked about trivial, mundane things such as the gasp of horror of a friend wearing the wrong type of clothes to a dinner party. Or about her husband having an ingrown fingernail that was bothering him. Ugh! I can't stand that kind of stuff. Why do I need to hear this at 100 decibels 500 feet away? It was like listening to a Boeing 767 coming in for landing - that is how loud it was.

Yeah, cell phones. What will we do without them.

About Kerry Kobashi

Kerry Kobashi picture

Kerry is the founder of KerryOnWorld. He lives in Silicon Valley.

PizzaBoy's picture

funny that you wrote this.

funny that you wrote this. last night after coming home from work i must of have ran into the same person staring at the refrig. these ppl look like they dont have a life and are so burned out